Tuesday, September 10, 2019

Turning three



Before my mother died she came to visit me in Canada  
She was eighty five years old her hair was root black
She had a small photograph with her she left  behind
Canada was all trees to her the people said "Wow"

When asked why native Syiapapiss said wow is Mom
Mother MOM upside down we were all upside down
In my dream I was walking my feet are sure stepped
I am going back to find my shoes for this hard road

The young men of the reservation and crying out loud
They want love they want family they want to marry
We are the generation facing the damage done to us
Orphaned abandoned abused  and almost destroyed

My own story is but mine to tell my name is Sheila
Sheila Winifred Simpson Oldfield Mulholland Brown
I was McGowan in Ballyheather being molested by
the poor man who was sent to war at only seventeen

My own father was a  John Oldfield from Manchester
A passionate fling by Buckingham Palace in the fifties
The Salvation Army in Belfast made sure my twin died
Alone orphaned abandoned and abused Winifred and me

Never despair our family crest says "Never despair "
I am walking back to find my shoes and something else
Possibly my soul hidden under some rock on a stone wall

My name is Sheila Winifred Simpson I was in New York
when I turned twenty one I was offered political asylum 
Instead I returned to Belfast to take care of the bomb
blasted children in Dr. Barnardos in nineteen seventy four

I am dream walking on native land that has been paved
Listening to the young men crying to their grandmothers
We want to find love and get married we want to be fathers

My father was in the Queen's service my mother a nurse
I was conceived in England but born in Belfast a twin I was
Never to see my sister after the womb we were parted by

some damn cruel system of hate of politic of the devil him

My mother made the journey from Dungannon to Denman
To bring me a story she was afraid to tell she was killed

In some senior home her nutrition denied her hip broken

Beloved strong warrior lady of the north she went home

Riding the milky way of heaven on a great white steed  

My name is peacewalker 
My name is Moves Fire Woman
My name is Buffalo Spirit Woman 
My name is Yellow Moon
I am Dandelion 
I am Banshee a fairy woman who sings
Sun dancer who pierced to the tree of life 
for grandmother Omagh in dutch 
On our lady's day of Ascension a bomb
blew the place apart a generation of four 

On a cold pavement at three in the afternoon blood ran

In the village of Moy Winifred 's remains rotting into dust
Along side her first cousins David and his brother along
side the Simpson ladies the sisters  all have headstones 
Winifred my beloved dear wonderful strong Winifred rest

I will have no headstone
no marker 
no words
nothing grand
For me it is into the fire and into the water and back to God
Back to rejoin the holy choir in heaven to sing for my Lord