Accident 2

 Dark night
David is driving


David nineteen  pulls over

Fast fast fast\metal slams thuds
headlights engines

 locked together forever
I  am hurt
they find his body
 under
the
back
wheels
 I run fast
Need help bang on doors
Run down road shadowed in\ moonlight
bang on door have telephone
 call Mary mother to
David he is dead

 I tell her he is dead David is dead
The rest of the story
is blurred my memory and loss

 I am alone with a skin scar

 July the first nineteen sixty six

Accident number 1

    Small blue car
 full of children
    Austin A 35 
 compact strong
    Coming down a country road 
   
Billy at the wheel
  good driver
    us children tired cranky wild
    
Adrian in the front aged six
   
 Austin aged nine in the back
   
 seatbelts unheard of back then
    
a country road winding down
   
 Adrian suddenly leaps  back
   
 Billy lets go of the steering
    turned round to catch his son
    
Small blue Austin A 35 slams
   
 Through the hedgerow falls
  
  Rolls upside down silent shock
  
 I hear my voice calling mammy
    
We end up upside down silent
    
in the green grass field damp
  
  I find the window handle turn
  
  open the glass crawl out then
    
walk  in shock three miles home
    

‎

October 27, 2016 ·

Oh my beloved Belfast 
wind whipping enough
to blow your hat off to 
let your hair dance on
the top of your head. 
My beloved Belfast 
sweet pink double 
decker buses  
scarf covered old 
dolls rushing to work.
I am walking dreams 
down Donegall Street 
It is the harshest of a 
fall day 
I am freezing to death 
in my white linen dress.
It is evening time and 
I am rushing to city hall 
for a dinner.
How can I kiss a city. 
Breakfast at the Europa Hotel. 
Belfast you hold me in your arms 
I am crying in the memory 
my bomb damaged wedding dress.
is a million pieces of glass

 ambulances ringing fill  my ears

I go to the zoo and sit with the tigers 
the  stone  from Canada 
is dancing down the tunnel pathways of
imported Prairie dogs from Manitoba 

Belfast Belfast Belfast I
I was born in your city

Dedicated to Chief Russell Quastala

Dedicated to Chief Russell Quastala

 Punchlatt
 Punchlatt
Punchlatt
 Punchlatt (  hush )

Oh to have lived in that time of  berry picking
Oh to have lived in that time of great silence


 drum  beat I hear a paddle song sung
 men bringing back the fresh food for us
  ( rattle )

Cedar dressed us from her bark

clam shells  woven cedar hats
 drums from brother deer bodies
songs  from  ocean and paddle

Fresh salt cleansed us everyday
outside
inside
Dandelion
dockin
mullberry
nettle
salmon berry

Everything is here we have just got to remember
(Drum song here )

White folks came from over the sea
 soil turners
 spade and shovel diggers
potatoes
turnips
vegetables

We lived
 in the big house
settlers separated
Into houses 
wood and complicated stairs

We lived
close to
 earth
 fire
water
 wind and sun

Moon and stars

spoke to us 
thunder and lightening
Rain and sun
 in dance we sang to them
Made masks from old stories
 new moons and dreams
Wake with dawn
grandfather sun acknowledged him
Went to bed when he crossed he sky
chasing
 grandmother moon

Grandmother moon guarded  night time dreaming\
Owl red robin birds woke us singing
Nighttime for communication with ancestors passed
Messages from the silence lap water sounds (sound)
Animals would talk to eachother we would listen

Animals birds crawling ones winged ones  sea ones
Part of our clan the bird the beaver the bear racoon
Honey from the honey bee blessings

At the end of the day

 There is nothing left to remember
and yet everything is stored forever

The Sun

 Sun will come to earth and that will be that

 earth will be born and the creation
 will start all over again
 sun will come to earth and eat us all up
 in one gigantic gulp

World war three  war on the planet
 omnicide the death of  it all
The death of day of night of sorrow
 and tears the dead of tomorrow

Wow is Mom turned upside down
 is it going to be fast like that
The fire consuming every last
piece of the whole shebang breathe

last evening we were driving north
 on the new island highway
it is raining and dangerous
 slippy hydroplaning oil slick


 the car is airborne and they
are dead or seriously wounded
 lying on the cold pavement with
many strangers around them

last evening the sun became
a brilliant pulsing light bouncing yes
the sun was bouncing in the sky

that darken over even the poor
old tired rainbow colors were faded
washed out
in a dark  dull rain sodden south sky.

 I got of the car to sundance



cars were bombing past me
I was dancing in the sun that was a
 shimmering blue the rest were
running I mean in metal frames

taking their own lives and other
pedal to the metal never mind
that road was oil slicked they were
scared as the rain bounced

 I mean big rain bounced of the road
not one slowed down
fecking brainless twits
who appreciate nothing

not life not death not sky not awakening
not nature not pulse of being

I sundanced in the pouring rain
I danced myself into the very brilliance
Of the sun and I saw  the heart beat of all
creation do you know we live
because of sun water earth and the
everyday breath of creation of God
we are only here for a nano second


THE HEART BEAT OF THE WORLD

Canadains

        Big children most of them polite firm opinionated
        Unforgiving comfortable settled thankful scared
        Always saying sorry an interesting word is that
Sor   So sorry for being at all here guilty for past sins
         What is my connection to you Canada Can I Da
         In Ireland your da is short for daddy father man
         I wonder is that why so many woman die here

        Ireland grew many people and they were exported
        Starved first the original boat people  green mouth
        What else could one eat except the grass growing
         To stave of the great hunger HOLOCAUST hunger
         I am not polite I am not sorry or unforgiving either
         Kanata sparks place to the sky yes a stairway to
         Heaven Canada is a stairway to the great heavens

       It is such a small place really compared to Africa
       A land there used to be more buffalo than people
       Canada is cold icy and minus in temperatures below
       The people live in igloos under the snow healthy yes
        No not healthy nor right nor sorry none of these things

       Enduring sent by missionaries and soldiers with guns
      Pioneers in disguise

Natives

Paul Doran
Capo on first fret
A                 E                 A
For all of our languages we can’t communicate
A                 E                      F#m
For all of our native tonques we’re all natives here
E       F#m             A
Sons of their fathers dream the same dream
E               F#m
The sound of forbidden words becomes a scream
D                  E
Voices in anger, victims of history
F#m       E              A
Plundered and set aside grown fat on swallowed pride
With promises of paradise and gifts of beads and knives
Missionaries and pioneers are soldiers in disguise
Saviours and conquerors they make us wait
The fishers of men they wave their truth like bait
With the touch of a stranger’s hand innocence turns to shame
The spirit that dwelt within now sleeps out in the rain.
For all of our languages we can’t communicate
For all of our native tongues we’re all natives here
The scars of the past are slow to disappear
The cries of the dead are always in our ears
Only the very safe can talk about wrong or right
Of those who are forced to choose some will choose to fight
For all of our languages we can’t communicate

PTSD

Post traumatic stress disorder they call it
I call it a memory jam in the heart core
I mean who can forget it the bomb blast
Legs arms limbs hand  head hands fingers
The smells the sounds the aftermath pain

Like it was yesterday we were in the war
yes deep in the trenches of France dying
Yes we were always dying and dying alone

No one to talk to when the memories come
triggered by loud noises by smell or song
Take these memories that are stuck there
Stuck in my head stuck in my heart now
I can't wait to die for these memories to
Die with me when I can wake into new life

Dam you masters of war your evil evil ones
You who give the orders to kill to starve to
Take the new the fresh the young the sweet
The innocent the bright eyes laughing ones
Turn them into zombies of pain  and suffering
When we cannot grow old in grace and beauty
Always the smell of death stalks us forever on

Like cobwebs hidden in the dark places deep

The Hills of Sweet Lislea

The news goes round underground
another death by gun but no word

Spring

 

Tapping

   Tapping tapping tapping  the top of my head
   the side of my face side of the eye to see in
   Under the nose under the chin over the bone
   On my  side close to my Irish breasted heart

   Words a line of words a statement  going in
   Wow the body bits open and release wow in

   It is a life map and a pattern set in motion in\
   Accidents one to three terrible accidents death
   Falling crashing metal metal staring death close
   Forgetting everything else the brain sears memory

  Release release release  fine fault lines of tremor
 The body earthquakes are not erupting any more

  I am calm I am centered I am free of this pain
  Tapping tapping tapping into the fragments now

 The meridians the energy in the small communicators

 The accidents the whiplash the the terrifying dreams
 The death dark midnight scream his body under wheel
 Running my body alive his body dead under wheel
Thank God it is night and I do not want to see his face

Mangled their bodies dead inside the car mangled dead
Just like that life gone in  a 600 lb bomb exploded now

Why is my right elbow seized what locked you up when
Tapping tapping tapping on my skin the blackbird sings



I am a woman with a ancient song and Wind Walker healer
Listen with them Morse code fingers tapping tapping tapping

Sent a message to my inner core its ok daughter your ok ok ok

THE FALL was only another tremor on your old old old soul

I tried to be Canadain

Yes I tried to be Canadian and failed
I took lessons read books and listened
Be polite say yes please thanks you
have a nice day and what else talk
oh yes talk about what what is there to say
I just do not know how to be boring
how to carry on a civil conversation
of nothingness no passion no laughs
I know I have failed I should resign
Why try to fit into a pair of awkward shoes